I just finished listening to Maggie Smith’s memoir and kept saying in my head, if I ever write a memoir, this is what I think it’d be like. The style, her questions, her honesty, and the way she made it a point that she wasn’t telling all, she was telling hers. It felt like something I could do. Maybe. I was also inspired when she talked about writing as one thing she would always have and maybe I’m getting ahead of myself here but 2 posts in 3 days, maybe writing is something I can claim for myself. Maybe writing can help me heal too.
Update on the rescue pup with tummy troubles. We’re doing “send out” blood work ($280) and trying some sensitive stomach, recovery meals that come in a can to see if that helps solidify things. Also trying to get her to put some weight on. Dr.Vet thinks it could be something organ related (kidneys, liver, etc) since she is getting older. We’ve always thought she was 6 when we rescued in Jan 2022, so 9 now but maybe she’s older than that. So we should hear back on labwork in 2-3 days. I just hope we can get her feeling better. Sweetest dog you’ll every meet.
In my last post, I mentioned wanting to get rid of everything in my house in preparation for an upcoming move to Minnesota but that I struggle with ADHD, perfectionism, and overthinking so making any sort of progress with getting rid of stuff is a challenge. I’m happy to report that I did go through my bedroom, bathroom, and closet and set aside things I could get rid of. The easiest fastest next step would be to bag it up and drop it off at the ARC however, there are some items in there that I could for sure sell and there are other items that I could definitely give away on the local Buy Nothing Facebook group. Progress is progress I quietly tell myself.
One topic I’d like to let out in the open is about my eating. I have terrible eating habits. I basically only eat snacks, no meals. I’m not overweight but I am 5’9″ and weight 160lbs when most of my adult life I’ve been between 130-140lbs. So it’d be nice to lose about 15 to 20 pounds but I’m a week away from turning 46. Things are way different from when I was 30 and losing the pregnancy pounds after my 3rd baby. Eating and weight and body image, holy cow, it’s such a huge mental load for me, I probably need to save it for another time so instead I share what I’m eating today (so far, 3:00pm):
+half of a gluten free english muffin with butter
+a vegan protein shake with cold brew coffee and a splash of creamer
+an apple
+a perfect bar
It’s actually good that I’ve ate food before 3pm. My cycle is normally don’t eat until after 5pm and then eat everything I can find in the kitchen until 10pm. When I wake up in the morning I’m not hungry and I feel like crap for all the foods I ate the night before so the cycle continues. I fully realize no one cares what I eat. I have mom guilt about passing on this style of eating to my youngest kid, the last one still at home with me. But my sister in law recently told me she has some of the same tendencies so I guess I’m sharing on the off chance that maybe I’m not the only one that does this?
Probably a good place to stop. Maybe talk about “food noise” next time.
xo kelly (5/5/25)